I don't remember very many of these (although I really dug actress Christa Miller for a while), but I recall an episode of The Drew Carey Show in which Drew's nemesis, Mimi, tried to drive him from his house using the Noriega torture method of blasting Van Halen's "Panama" for days on end. I don't know exactly what this says about me, but that's exactly what I thought about when I found this story out of Greenville, S.C. about a mother fox and her cubs that became a nuisance living under a couple's home. And while I'm a bit saddened that the animals earned this abrupt dismissal, I'm even more offended that someone identified the loud playing of '80s music to be the magical catalyst capable of such an efficient eviction. Of course, maybe it was just the noise in general, but wouldn't you deem many other styles and eras of music to have far greater potential for scattering wildlife? How about Toby Keith or beach music or Jimmy Buffett? The list could be endless.

I shouldn't take it so personally, I guess, but I wonder if I'm alone in my pronounced irritation with a world that stubbornly continues to see '80s music as something less than extraordinary. Yes, the decade had its share of musical disasters and abominations, but the often typical consensus that '80s music had a tendency to emphasize glitz and fluff over substance really doesn't hold up all that well to a serious perusal of the era's offerings. Take a look around my site for dozens of strong supporting arguments for this position, and by all means try to resist any sudden urge to vacate the premises as you explore.

You know that age-old, conceptual conservation piece when you're asked what three historical figures with whom you would most like to have dinner? I remember years ago when David Letterman, in a memorable skit for the '80s NBC version of his late-night show, chose William Shakespeare, Abraham Lincoln and Gene Shalit for his dinner of distinction: a "wretched repast" of Bojangles' chicken.

I was thinking recently that there are so many twists to that basic idea and that even within the realm of '80s music the possibilities are more than abundant. So I thought I'd start with an anti or bizarro list of some kind, and what better than a list of the '80s music artists who would most stick out like a sore thumb in your parents' living room, making small talk and trying to answer your dad's question about what they're gonna do with their lives? By necessity, this must be merely an introductory list, as often questions like this come down so subjectively to a matter of taste. But really, the more I think about it, this one might be pretty definitive. Still, before you say anything, realize that I've omitted Ozzy Osbourne for two reasons: he's too safe and obvious as a choice and he's been highly tamed over the years as a pop culture figure so that we now understand he was always a bit of a softy. No, check out my list for the '80s artists who could really send the folks screaming for the exits.